Warning: Cynicism, Bad Language, and Low Brow Prose

Dear Diary-

To the 6 foot +, 190+, blond, blue eyed-I-come-late-to-class-Captain America looking-I-am-so-gorgeous-but-I-am-in-a-huge-mid-life-crisis-I-ride a motorcycle to BJJ-leather-jacket-wearing asshole, who thinks it's appropriate to slam your knee into my side and crank my neck; FUCK YOU.

Now, my husband just asked, Do you really want to post that?  I said, Yes, yes I do.  Then he countered, but you can turn it into a good blog from there, talk about how you learned you can harness a certain amount of anger to be used well, that it was a more of a fight, not training, but THAT in itself is a learning experience...

I so admire Allie the Clear Belt for being beautifully articulate when posting her anger and frustration, and I wish I had her patience right now for that kind of early morning glass water prose, but all I can muster at this moment is the gutter.  My husband is right, there was  an element of learning in this particular roll, but I am going to sleep on it and let the REM process restore my wells of clarity.

I also owe you a post about my private with Felicia and Val (awesome), my training in general (going very well),  and the continuing Paleo process (totally dig).

Train well,


  1. Ooh! Does not sound good.

    Did you say "FU" to Capt. America? He may need to hear it. I would take it as his manliness would be so hurt to be beaten by you (and he fears that's a good possibility) that he has to resort to dirtiness. So, once again we see a tweaked male compliment.

    You could start coming to class in Wonder Woman gear like Julia J. Maybe then he'll see that you're on the same team.

  2. I love how the play by play with your husband includes "Then he countered", ha ha ha. Hey, a blog is to say how you feel, not a perfected, sanitized version of how you feel. We get a sense of your "rebound and find a lesson here" from a ton of your other posts. Every now and then you can have a good guilt-free FU post. :)

    Can't wait to hear about the private class...and I'm still trying to form the words about the experience.

  3. Man...that is NOT cool. Yeah...maybe let him know. He's likely going to say something in response, but it probably needs to be brought up.

  4. Yeah, the only two guys who SUPER pissed me off were big guys who said to me "I'm not gonna roll with you different because you're a woman."


    He he he. I like a place where I can say FUCK YOU to those guys, especially not on my blog where I try to keep it positive. Thanks for having a venting spot! ;)

  5. Oh that's not nice! The leather-jacket-clad Captain America, I mean. Get someone in your class to kick his ass and do the same on him!

    What I usually do is talk about my "problem teammates" with my coach. He usually deals with them. If not, I have a "BJJ assassin" teammate who is so good at what he does, and can usually put the other guys in the gym in check. At least give them a dose of what they have done to me.

    I also sometimes cry (in the shower) when I get physically hurt, just to relieve myself of the bad feelings I have.

  6. i'm a guy, but i'm only 130lbs. so i never hurt anyone when i roll with them.

    this dude just sounds like a prick all the way around.

  7. haha i know exactly how you feel. Maybe a week or so ago a guy slammed me while rolling and i submitted him twice but just so he caught the message once the buzzer rang i looked over at my purple belt buddy (awesome wrestler and mma fighter too) and gave him the "take care of my lightwork" look. the rest is, as we say, history. lol made me feel better at the time. sometimes you need that primal type of venting


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