Long time...

Okay time to write again after an entirely toooo long hiatus.  I think the last time I posted was before the Pan Ams, so a brief history since then:

I trained like an absolute madwoman for the Pan Ams, which accounted for the first part of my absence.  I was on a day-watch schedule at that time, so my day started at zero-345 in the wee hours of the morn for a 2-mile run, followed by work from 6-4, then class from 6-8, add two kettle bell work outs, Bikram once a week, and proper attention to my extraordinary husband (who was, is, a great cheerleader for his intrepid wife), my blog became the bottom of the priority list.

Despite the crammed schedule, I had a blast training for the Pans.  I loved the push.  I learned to relish the early morning runs, as I am not a morning person.  I baited my mind each morning with running clothes set out the night before, and the goal of simply getting dressed and walking out the door.  The dark and quiet freeway drive to my route became a welcome 30 minutes of solitude.  The first creaky stretches became welcome aches that melted away as my body warmed and yielded to greater strength, a faster pace, more push-ups...

Stepping onto the mat for class turned into a daily cathartic shaking.  I pushed myself each day, each class to find the invisible clues within technique that propel myself to balletic jiu jitsu.  I trained every night and twice a day during the week when I was off work.  The attention to detail paid off and I found new sources of great power, torque, and momentum in my hips.  I found "my game."

Some of you will remember I began the Paleo Diet several months back.  I did/am doing an excellent job of adhering to the Paleo guidelines, with a few modifications.  The area where I work has several Meditteranean restaurants, so hummus has become a fairly regular part of my diet, along with tabouli and greek salads.  The greatest thing about the Paleo Diet is that I now eat heaps more vegetables than ever.  And preparing them is so wonderfully simple.  My favorite "quick" Paleo dinners consist of a handful of Swiss chard, spinach, or kale, lightly cooked in a pan with a tiny dash of olive oil.  I serve the greens with  hummus or canned tuna.

So, the Pans.  I can tell you, I felt like million dollars when I stepped on that mat.  I had put in the hours, I trained, trained, and then trained some more.  I was relaxed and confident.


Basically I lost.  My first fight was against Rachel Demara from Lloyd Irwin.  What can I say?  She was a great opponent and I wish she could say the same about me.  I felt like all the training, all the hours on the mat, all the cold dark early mornings when I got rained on, all of it went flying out the window as she effortlessly pulled guard and proceeded to break down my posture like I was styrofoam.  (I have since been working on my posture).    The whole flood of crap that comes down when one loses came like a winter shower.  The gamut of- I let myself down, I let Fabio down, I let my school down, I let my husband down, I let my family down, I let my opponent down, she's probably laughing at how easy it was to beat me, why am I doing this- all of that.  Came down like tainted manna.

Of course Fabio told me he was proud anyway.  My husband told me he was proud.  My familt told me they were proud.  And you know, I know they meant it, and I know it's not "all about winning" blah blah blah, but dammit, I want to win.  There is a ton more I could write on this subject, and I am going to stop here, because I know you all get it.  On a more humorous note, my husband pointed out that all the training pushed me from smoking hot to totally smoking hot.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention, I met Georgette at the Pans!   She is massively cool and if you have seen her photos, then she is easy to spot in a crowd, just look for the woman with bright eyes, a wicked great smile, and wonderfully curly red hair.

Moving right along, I also recently met Julia Johhanson, of Jiu Jiu's Blog fame.  Also massively cool, very funny and intelligent and I am so glad her situation in Korea has worked itself out in a positive fashion.  Cool Julia factoid:  she is a trekkie and has several Star Trek tattoos.

In the past I have allowed loss to crush my training for several weeks, but not this time.  I let myself go off the healthy eating wagon for one week, and much to my surprise, the junk food lost it's luster.  When you commit yourself to greens and fresh food, your body responds in kind.  The nachos I splurged on one night just did not taste as yummy as they did before.  Unfortunately, thin crust pizza remains a decadent splurge that does taste as yummy as before.  But I digress.. After one week of rest, I jumped back on the mat to get ready for the Mundials.  I just had shift-change and am now working graveyards, which means I can train every day of the week (except Sunday).  Running and weights have taken a back seat to class and I have been working on posture posture posture and of course, speed.

I feel the same now as I did before the Pans.  I have done the training, done the hours, done the time, and in two weeks it will time to step up to plate once again.  Head high and full steam...

Train well, feels wonderful to write again,



  1. But you did win, you beat your biggest opponent - You. You comitted yourself 100%, you trained, you ate properly, you had the courage to sign up and step on the mat in one of the biggest tournaments in the world. So what that the outcome wasn't what you wanted. How many signed up to compete and how many actually did? Now, here you are back training just as hard and giving it another go. In my book, you've won.
    Train hard, roll well.

  2. You are soooooo sweet :) It was AWESOME to meet you! And you did win in more ways than one. I will point out that I lost my first (only) match at the 2011 Pan, 20-0! And that's not the real loss... then I went on a nonPaleo eating BINGE (long story short, I find nachos, tacos, pizza, and donuts to be even MORE delicious now) which did NOT end after a week, and my knee got wonky, and I tore a ligament in my foot, so now I'm not going to Worlds AND I'm 12 lbs heavier :(

    But anyway-- thanks for the shoutout, welcome back to the blog, good training, and best wishes at the Worlds! Keep us posted!!!!

  3. Oh my goodness Dagney...I have to share this post with my friend. We competed for the first time in April and we both felt positive about the experience, but then there was something we couldn't quite express (not even to our coaches)about the let down and the loss...your words are speaking volumes to me right now. I'm trying to get past that loss and compete again this month and I think this post is just what I needed to motivate me. Thank you!! :)

  4. I really needed to hear P's 3 & 4 right now. Thank you for this...


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