off wagon and into a pit

My husband often counsels me to give the gray a chance.  Gray area.  I tend to be extremely black and white in certain parts of my life.  I like definition, clarity.  My approach serves me well when I am, for instance, dropping to a lower weight class.  Setting a clearly defined caloric boundary is beneficial.

Equally as beneficial is allowing oneself a caloric cheat day.  So my devoted, but probably in-cahoots with the devil husband made Mac and Cheese CASSEROLE for dinner.  Because Mac and Cheese was not enough, he had to go to the bad place and bake it.  And this was not your mother's budget-minded Mac, this was a recipe he pulled from the Epicurious website.  The long and short of it was 2 pounds of Sharp chedder, butter, eggs, Penne pasta, leeks,  breadcrumbs.  You get the picture.  Bad place.  I am there.  No gray in sight.  I have been assaulted and beaten into submission by my own taste buds and my complete INability to conduct myself with decorum at the sight of dairy and pasta.  the wagon riders have pushed me off.