April 10, 2012

A little drained...

This is tough.  Training for the swat tryouts is no joke and I am really beginning to wonder why this stuff is so male dominated and "in general" considered more of a man's thing.  I wonder, because based on conversations with co-workers, I know I am not alone in being a little drained.

To recap:

The tryout consists of shooting, half of which is pretty basic 10 yard line stuff.  The other half is from the 25 yard line, phew.

At least 30 sit-ups under one minute.
At least 30 push-ups under one minute.
At least 6 pull-ups, no time limit.
440 run under 85 seconds.
Obstacle course under 4 minutes, which includes a 180 pound dummy drag.

Strength and speed generally work against each other when you decide to improve both, so my victories are in very small increments.  A few seconds here, a little bit higher to the bar there.  Those small victories are followed up quickly by a glaring weakness in another area.  Example, I can do 6 pull-ups!  Yeah!  Par-tay at the Dag Pad!  Oh but wait!  I went to the range today and shot from the 25 yard line something atrocious.  On one hand, better than I used to be, on the other hand, NOT NOT NOT good enough.

This process is a constant push and pull, requiring razor sharp focus...which I have...but man oh man oh man I am glad I have this outlet to write.  Writing clears my head.  As I prepare a post in my head, I always think, will someone get something of of this?  Am I putting some good light out there?  I mean, sure, I have some posts that are wildly self serving chest thumping "me" pieces, but overall I want to give something in my writing.

My point, is simply to say, this is tough.  I walked away from my range practice today in a shoddy mood and I did not just bounce back like usual.  And I should, I know I should, and I am, but I just needed a few hours today, and this keyboard to be raw and honest and acknowledge this process is not an easy road.  I need the brawn strength of a big man, the speed of lightening quick gazelle, and the stamina of a marathon runner.  The goals are coming to fruition, slowly materializing, one lat muscle, one stride at a time.

I guess that's what I am giving today.  This part of the process.  In case anyone out there ever attempts swat tryouts, This exists.  This.....feeling of swimming a long swim.  I have long ago left the dock and I am out in the middle of the ocean now.  The dock is no longer visible.  The waves are choppy.  I am tired.  I cannot see the new dock yet.  I know it's there.  It's there.  But there are more waves to ride, more waves to ride.  The only choice is to put my head down and keep swimming to the new dock.  The prickly cutting splinters of that dock on my fingers will be a welcome warm blanket around my soul.

For today, just a few moments of wading in place to catch my breath and reinvest my body and brain.

Which brings me to my second point.  Okay, so, yeah, what GIVES with this universe and how did all this stuff become "guy" stuff?  And gentlemen, please don't take this as a guy-bashing rant.  This is an honest question.  I have spoken to at least, oh heck, 20 other men and 4 other women who are going out for swat and NO ONE has this dialed in.  EVERYONE has an achilles.  Mine?  Refinement.  Speed.  I am strong as an ox, I'll finish the race, but speed is my challenge.  And, of course, the 25 yard line shoot.  I have a buddy who can knock out pull-ups like nobody's business, but the sit-ups make him shudder.  I have a friend who can shoot like a demon, but she is 90 pounds and the dummy drag makes her cringe.  I know a guy who aced all the shooting and physical tests during the last process a few years ago, but then he messed up the interview by coming off to the brass like a prick.

Man or woman, this challenge does not discriminate.

In related news, my BJJ is improving!  I am only training once a week right now, and when I do, it's like sucking down a giant chocolate malt!  BJJ has taken on the role of the sneaky best friend that convinces you to drink Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers on a school night. (oh, did I just date myself? lol).  This is a great thing.  Now, BJJ is the easy thing, and I think all the sit-ups and push-ups and what not have strengthened parts of my body that I might have ignored before, so my movement feels fluid but also super solid too.  We have a new female in class who is tall tall tall, and I told her the other day, we are officially NOT teaching you spider guard!  She already has the awesome instinct to grab the sleeve and greedily own it whilst stretching your body into her personal steering wheel.  

Well, deep breath.  deep breath.  Head back down.  Back to work.

Train well, train strong,




  1. This test will separate the elite from the "good enough". YOU are the material of elite.

  2. What a wonderful compliment. Thank you.

  3. I agree with the above comment. The way you are training will definitely separate you from the rest of the pack. I am very happy that you are finding things you love and not getting discouraged. It is also great that your BJJ training is getting better everyday. Congrats!
    Guy @ Martial Art Classes Parker Co